You are omnipresent; as cousin, in-law, step-father, uncle, friend, boyfriend and in worst case as father and brother.
Sometimes I feel my own home is not a safe place to live in. I am literally homeless, lesser fortunate than animals. Even animals have a safer home under their owners but I am not. I am disowned by everyone, like an abandoned one in another world. I have never had a twinge of thought that I am homeless. I thought I have everything that world has to offer. Today, I understood that all earthlings have turned against me. Everything I expected for is not mine. Simply, my world is far from my reach. It is adrift far, by ruthless, inhumane, self-centric, egoistic, hedonistic around me. It is undoing of human.
I am born to your daughter. I was happiest around to see myself equally fortunate to have a father. You haven’t turned away and gave my mother a fatherless child. I was as fortunate as any other daughter. I have received all of you as father. I thought I have everything the world has to provide but it was short lived, fleeting one for I was raised like a pig in sty to slaughter one day. Love and care has been stolen. I was literally slaughtered when my insane, shameless father has used me. I repent over and over, as daughter to such an animal. It is undoing of human.
Such a wonderful circle of brother, cousin, in-law and uncle I was in. I thought the circle I am was the best. Happiness within our circle was unmatched; it was a heaven on earth. Air that I breathe was all happiness. Every pat I got, with caressing kiss was laden with pervading love and care. But earth is also a hell. All those that I enjoyed was soon gone, the circle has disappeared when he (brother, cousin, in-law and uncle) has used me. I was thrown out of circle. It is undoing of human.
As a gregarious human, you and I got bonded as girlfriend and boyfriend. The kind of relationship that we had was exemplary. It was like Romeo and Juliet were reborn to continue their love. I never had a wink of regret over choosing you amongst many choices the world has to offer. I found much in you, incapable of many. But you proved it other way; to quench your insatiable pleasure you used me despite my reluctance, I was not ready for that. It is undoing of human.
|I'm one of the victims|
By the ill fate, my dad was long gone, I was just two. It was hard for single mother to bring me up. She cannot reach herself where necessary. She felt for better replacement. She had to find a second one. I was happy that he was really good man. I called him my dad, step-father though. He had shown me father in him. But that was his one face, he has another to show; he started using me. I never felt any bad to my mother for finding one. It is undoing of human.
I have the Mount Everest ambitions and hope to climb in life but I had been pulled down never to reach its nadir. Today, I am victimized; I have no dreams, it was shattered. I have no hopes, it was dashed. I have no ambitions, it was sky-high to reach. I have no trust, it was betrayed. I have none to lean my trust and confide, they have left me in lurch. Everyone was against me. I can only trust god and no one else. I only pray, let there be no hell on earth. Let other girls or women undergo such unbearable hardship out of inhumane acts. Let the world be a peaceful home to live on. It is ok, I have lost my world today I attribute it to my previous karma.
If this is what world treats me with, I would rather choose to take live in hell than on earth. It’s fine there suffering, there are many undergoing the same. By the virtue of being Buddhist, it is intolerable of such act. Everyone is related one time or another in our previous generations.
If you cannot help, please never hurt. Love and only love can be peaceful panacea. Love and only love can reign. Please spread LOVE.
With much anticipation,
P.S: Getting into shoe of rape victim isn’t easy, much more could be expressed than my words could suffice. Much is felt than I could put into words.